"The Doctor"
Couch-Dweller
“I don’t know if you had noticed, but what is really thriving is the little clipping of plant that I tossed in there. It has grown like crazy, and now it is even putting out little roots.”
Pathos is also really good about that.
“Pathos? Yeah, well I had a plant scientist in here, and he said that the roots will get long enough to reach the bottom of the tank before too long. Every day there is an obvious change with this thing!”
A plant scientist?
“Yeah, I had a plant scientist come in for a consult, and we started talking about it.”
You had a plant professional come in for a consultation?
“Yes.”
Because that is the normal way people care for plants.
“No, I didn’t have him come in for a consultation about the bamboo. He came in for a consult with me. He came in for me to treat him, and he happened to be a plant scientist.”
OH."Do you know when a conversation is over? Are you able to tell at the right time?"
I don't know. Do I?
"You can't ask me that. Well, I mean you just DID, but I can't answer that."
Oh. Okay... Sorry.
"No, don't be. It isn't one of those things that I cannot answer because it would be inappropriate; it is because I don't know the answer, and that is why I asked you."
Well how the fuck should I know what it is like to converse with me?
"You can still barely stand to be in the same room with me! Don't worry, you will get to escape this torture soon enough."
I apologize if it appears that way.
This isn't something that was even on my metaphorical radar of concern; the view from the chair, it seems, is not particularly flattering for the couch-side.
"You're ready to flee! You are just perched on the edge of your seat..."
Technically, I am perched on the edge of YOUR seat.
"Oh yes...Yes that is true. I forgot to make the distinction. Silly of me."
Okay- OKAY, please allow me to just... I apologize for the false impression that I have given you.
"Oh. Oh-kay."
How could I possibly change the non-verbal message that I never meant to give off in the first place, but without making the change seem artificial? Rolling this idea around and around for a solution becomes a very long-lasting silence. The Doctor slumps slightly in the chair and groans good-naturedly.
"That was the topic in its entirety. I get that now."
"Wait- you collect bones you find? No human bones though I hope?"
Not to the best of my knowledge.
"You sound almost disappointed about that. Which is sort of... weird."
Oh come on! What kid doesn't dream of finding a trash bag filled to bursting with human remains?
"Roughly 98% of them."
Oh... There is a sticky silence that catches the discussion until The Doctor hastily tacks on an afterthought.
"That isn't an exact figure, mind you; just a guess off the top of my head."
Oh! Phew that's a relief.
"I am really glad that you brought this up halfway through the session instead of in the last ten minutes. That was good planning."
Oh.. Well it wasn't actually planned...
"Oh. What- did it just feel like the right time to bring it up?"
Not really?.. It just.. It sort of... The words trickle to a stop and are replaced by arm/hand gestures that are strikingly similar to the Swedish Chef Muppet, but mercifully the Doctor is fluent in my particular type of bizarre.
"Ah- your fizz level was through the roof and you accidentally said what you were thinking."
Yes! That one!
"Excellent! I'd just like to go ahead and make you feel more uncomfortable by exploring this brand new can of worms. I'd like to thank you for sharing with me, first of all, since you were the one who brought it up voluntarily." There is nothing unusual about the smile that The Doctor wears, but unidentifiable signals give an impression of wickedness.
"Telling me that a problem is 'gone' sort of seems you are avoiding me, like turning the phone off to avoid the outside world. Does the comparison seem reasonable to you?"
I apologize if it appears that way.
This isn't something that was even on my metaphorical radar of concern; the view from the chair, it seems, is not particularly flattering for the couch-side.
"You're ready to flee! You are just perched on the edge of your seat..."
Technically, I am perched on the edge of YOUR seat.
"Oh yes...Yes that is true. I forgot to make the distinction. Silly of me."
Okay- OKAY, please allow me to just... I apologize for the false impression that I have given you.
"Oh. Oh-kay."
How could I possibly change the non-verbal message that I never meant to give off in the first place, but without making the change seem artificial? Rolling this idea around and around for a solution becomes a very long-lasting silence. The Doctor slumps slightly in the chair and groans good-naturedly.
"That was the topic in its entirety. I get that now."
"Wait- you collect bones you find? No human bones though I hope?"
Not to the best of my knowledge.
"You sound almost disappointed about that. Which is sort of... weird."
Oh come on! What kid doesn't dream of finding a trash bag filled to bursting with human remains?
"Roughly 98% of them."
Oh... There is a sticky silence that catches the discussion until The Doctor hastily tacks on an afterthought.
"That isn't an exact figure, mind you; just a guess off the top of my head."
Oh! Phew that's a relief.
"I am really glad that you brought this up halfway through the session instead of in the last ten minutes. That was good planning."
Oh.. Well it wasn't actually planned...
"Oh. What- did it just feel like the right time to bring it up?"
Not really?.. It just.. It sort of... The words trickle to a stop and are replaced by arm/hand gestures that are strikingly similar to the Swedish Chef Muppet, but mercifully the Doctor is fluent in my particular type of bizarre.
"Ah- your fizz level was through the roof and you accidentally said what you were thinking."
Yes! That one!
"Excellent! I'd just like to go ahead and make you feel more uncomfortable by exploring this brand new can of worms. I'd like to thank you for sharing with me, first of all, since you were the one who brought it up voluntarily." There is nothing unusual about the smile that The Doctor wears, but unidentifiable signals give an impression of wickedness.
"Telling me that a problem is 'gone' sort of seems you are avoiding me, like turning the phone off to avoid the outside world. Does the comparison seem reasonable to you?"
Not at all!
"No? How is it different?"
Turning off a phone is passive avoidance, whereas when things get uncomfortable enough here, I will attempt to actively mislead you.
"Oh. Ah-lright. Thanks for setting me straight."
