The Curious Subject encountered a realization recently which was quite welcome. Definitely not a mind-shattering event for anyone, but it carried the weight of at least a quivering, cracking half-mind for the Subject.
Since executing the CDE experiment, then reviving it, the zombie-CDE has not been an outlet for obsession. The sheer lack of posts as compared to the pre-zombie days is quite encouraging! There is no longer a dire urge to write down each minute detail from several different viewpoints and in several different formats (one being this). This used to be a necessary aid for the Curious Subject to absorb, expand upon, or even understand the basics of what had transpired during a session, however the need to do so has died down so gradually that the change went unnoticed.
Not unlike moving furniture around in a small room:
The initial room and its contents is functional, but perhaps uncomfortable. The contents must flood into adjacent rooms/hallways/any open space if anything within the room is to change, but this means that the mess is not longer a self-contained unit. All of the clutter, which was so unpleasant to endure before, can then slowly find its way back into the room in a different way. Maybe not more organized, maybe not wildly different, but the room reabsorbs its objects and the towering piles of clutter gradually remove themselves from the other rooms. Ending in a room which is once again, self-contained.
The Curious Subject cannot help but to find petty, triumphant glee in this realization. Although it is impossible to predict if the Doctor will know about this at some point, it lays to rest the Doctor’s question, “Is progress being made?” It is believed that this is asked when mild frustration swirls with uncertainty, and a dash of dejection creates the itching thought that the Doctor may not be performing the job as needed. Total bollox of course, however it is acknowledged that the Couch-Dweller does not always accurately reflect alterations in the Curious Subject even though reporting those changes are within the etiquette expectations of a Couch-Dweller. It is understandable that if the Doctor is not informed of the happenings (as should be done) it might lead to self-doubt and not confirm the presence of anything gained from the sessions as a whole.
On the other hand, perhaps the Curious Subject is placing too much emphasis on the significance of this and is celebrating a meaningless speck which does not deserve any notice whatsoever.
